Long Time!

Wow, I haven't wrote in here along time! Since March to be exact.
Well to much has happened since then but I guess I will try to summarize the events that has taken place in my life. I will just talk about what my church I have done in these past few months.

March- Sean,our youth minister, took us on a Spring Retreat out in Panama City for the weekend. Something great happened here! Hallah, my best friend, and John William got Baptized! :)
Also teens worked and helped out at the Ronald McDonald House.

April- Our church had a Spring Festival for the little kids. The teens helped worked the booths and Jordan was the Easter Bunny! :)

(Skip May)

June- Impact at Lipscomb University is where its at! :)

July- We went on a road trip! We traveled all the way from Pensacola, Florida to Little Rock, Arkansas, to Birmingham, Alabama, to Atlanta, Georgia, to Orlando, Florida and back. In Arkansas we went to rice depot and put labels on cans.
In Alabama we cleaned rusted shelves at a food place.
In Georgia we gave food to the homeless
In Orlando we finally got to stop from working and went to Islands of Adventure! :)
Overall the trip was a great experience and I am so glad I was lucky enough to go and help all those people. I love to see smiles on the peoples faces when we help them it makes me feel so great inside.
Camp 09'!
Camp was very fun, I enjoyed it. :) The lesson for this week was, WE ARE SECOND. This really got to me. I know understand that God is first in our lives not ourselves. We must always put God first, and ourselves second. :) I AM SECOND.

August- We had work camp this month. We cleaned about 2 yards everyday and we also cleaned a special school. I love to go to go work camp, because I enjoy helping people.I loved seeing them smile when we were done with their yard. It's a great feeling! :)

(skip Sept.)

October- we had a fall festival for the little kids :) This was fun, I mean who doesn't love to see a child smile!? :)

November- we had a fall retreat. This happened just this past weekend. I had a blast! It was quite fun! :) I learned a lot this weekend. There were other churches there as well so we got to make some new friends. I liked this retreat because we got to sing A LOT ha. I enjoying singing. Overall this retreat was a great refresher! :)

Well that's what Gateway has been up to! :)
I love my church and the people there and I hope that I get closer and closer to God and the people there. I am glad for this church. It has made a dramatic change in my life ever since I have joined. Thank you to every one, especially SEAN WHITE! :) Without this awesome youth minister we wouldn't be able to do anything! So thank you Sean! I love you, even though you love to make fun of my slowness ;) hahaha

THANK YOU GATEWAY CHURCH OF CHRIST! :)

Mistakes.

I screwed up,
I made a mistake,
I'm going to erupt
For goodness sakes!

I've hurt you,
Real bad,
I never meant to,
It makes me quite sad

I didn't know
what I was doing,
But when I did,
My emotions started brewing

I needed to fix,
This mistake I made,
I was gettin sick,
I hoped it wouldn't stay

I hope you understand,
That people slip up,
Babe, just take my hand,
Before I corrupt !

I am only human,
For mistakes are everywhere..
Please let me not lose this gift,
That is oh so precious and rare.

I'm sorry I made you mad,
I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you,
I'm sorry darling I made you sad,
I'm sorry for everything times 92!

Please know that,
I Love YOU,
No one else,
ONLY YOU...

You know who you are,
And this is for you,
I'm sorry again,
I love you.

Moods? Feelings? Confusion?

Ok so Right now I'm trying to deal with my own mind and thoughts. Idk what's wrong with me I can't explain myself quite well at the moment.I'm not saying I'm not happy I'm not saying I'm sad I'm just kind of mellow at the moment...Idk what I am like idk how I feel.I don't even know what's wrong This feeling or mood only comes over me when I'm alone or whenever I actually have nothing to occupy me and like when I have time to stop and think. Does that make sense ? I'm sorry if it doesn't i'm just trying to write the best I can. Nothing is actually wrong I just keep getting these weird moods when I'm alone. Like during the week as soon as I get home I pretty much stay in my room and I only come out to eat and get a shower. I used to never do that. Wanna know why I hate being by myself ?! THIS is WHY.See if I'm by myself I get this feeling or mood or whatever THIS is and it upsets me because I don't know how to explain myself. I hate getting lost in my own thoughts. I get in this mood when I'm by myself that I can never pull out of unless I'm talking to someone or if I can't talk to someone I turn my music on. And if none of that helps then I try to sleep and sometimes THAT doesn't even work. This mood or feeling or whatever THIS is effects my dreams and it prevents me from being able to go to sleep. And if sleeping doesn't work then I try to write how I feel. Like poems or I just write random crap.I can't even explain my own thoughts anymore, I can't explain what goes on in my mind anymore like I can't even write poetry anymore. Hallah and Blake can do it so easy. I used to be able to do it easy like that,but for some reason I can't now. I love hanging with my friends they get me through everything and keep me happy..I love my friends :D Idk I just hope this makes sense sorry if it doesn't...its just what's going on in my mind and I wanted some answers to understand WHY I feel like this when i'm alone. So what would YOU call this ? So if you think you could help do tell :)
Thanks :)

Addictions

Have you ever wondered why us humans get addicted to the smallest most silliest things ? Like our cell phones, our computers, texting, tv., video games, music, drugs, drinking, sex, and what not ? We get addicted so easily to all of these things am I correct ? We spend hours on in doing all of these things, because they ARE our addictions...and addictions are hard to break. Why can't we make READING THE BIBLE our number one addiction ? This would be better to do than to play video games and such. We all should read the Bible everyday.. This would be a good addiction..to never want to put down God's word.. I'm guilty of this. I don't read my bible every day like I should. That's actually why I started writing this blog. I felt bad..I started thinking to myself..I asked myself why do I not read my Bible everyday ? I said to myself because I never have the time.. Well then I said to myself actually I DO have the time. If I just set aside my other addictions then I would have plenty of time for reading the Bible. My goal this year is to start reading a chapter or more everyday. :) I want this to become my number 1 addiction not texting and such.. Well that's my thought for now haha hope you enjoyed and learned something :)

Praying Out Loud.

Yes I took this pic.

Ok so I haven't been able to write in this in awhile,so I'm going to tell you what's been going on in my life :) Ok so on Sunday I went to church,pizza hutt,then share group. On Monday I woke up with a major headache :( yeah I stayed home from school. So today I went to school and took the FCAT :p blahh so yeah that's pretty much it.

But what I really want to talk about is what we did at my church on Sunday night. We did this great exercise. Our youth minister told us to talk about our problems and then praying about them out loud with eachother. This really took me out of my comfort zone I DO NOT like praying out loud. I always pray to myself. I always feel like if I pray out loud I'm going to sound stupid or mess it up. This exercise made me think about a lot of things. I came to realize that it doesn't matter how you pray to God. He doesn't care. God never judges. Which that is something us humans should learn how to do. We should learn how to give people chances and to talk to them first before we start judging them. This is getting really old and out of hand. I wish it would stop. Of course I'm gulity of judging people too. Everybody is. We need to all work on it.


A friend once told me that it really doesn't matter how we pray to God, we should talk to him like we were talking to one of our friends. For God is our friend, am I right ? That just really inspired me when my friend told me this. :) You know who you are ;) I just wanted to say thanks. :)


Anyways, when we prayed out loud to eachother I got SO much closer to my youth group. I learned that there are many problems that people face everyday. People are going through hard times everyday. That made me think...we should all be kinder than necessary because everyone you pass is fighting some kind of battle. Just think if everyone was nicer to eachother, what a better world this would be...


Not only did I get closer to my youth group, I also got closer to God. It felt really good. I enjoyed this feeling. It made me soo happy. It made me feel like nothing could go wrong. It made me realize how much God really loves us. It made me realize what a good life I have and what great caring friends I have. I just loved this feeling. I hope all the people that did this with me felt this way too :) I'm defiantly more comfortable with praying out loud now. :) We should defiantly do this exercise more often.


Well thats all I have to say today :) Hope you enjoyed this :) haha later :)

Being Away.

I wrote this when I was in Deland,Fl.

People say true love hurts,
I never understood that;
Until one day a certain person came along..
Whose voice sounded like a soothing song..
You know he is the one for you,
When your heart screams with pain,
When he's not here,
Standing by your side;
You try to listen out for his voice,
But all you hear is your own thoughts swirling around in your head;
You wish he was near,
Oh how his visit would be so very dear,
You want him to hold you tight,
And reassure you that everything,
will be alright;
When you're away from him you feel
sorrow,insecure and incomplete,
You don't feel like yourself,
You feel like you're going to die
You hate this feeling,
This feeling of loneliness and depression,
It drives you insane!
You never want to be apart,
When you are it literally,
Rips out your heart.
You think about him every day,
You say to yourself you don't want your love to fade;
You love him and he loves you,
You say to yourself,
You complete each other,
You are one,
And that you hope you will forever be together;
I now understand that love hurts,
When you can't be with the one you truly love,
It rips out your soul;
Oh how I wish it would go...

Feelings

Hello :) What I am about to write is just a bunch of feelings and such that I have been needing to get out so if it doesn't make any since I'm sorry. It's not really a poem either but some lines kinda rhymed haha Enjoy :)

I feel like crying,
I feel like screaming!
I hate when you leave my side!
Tears start to flood my green eyes.
Oh,my poor heart!
Its going to break,
Heck it already has,
Every time I'm not with you!
I don't think anyone understands,
How hurt and fragile I am;
They just say you will get through it,
They say its only a few days until you will see each other again;
But gawh days feel like weeks,
Weeks feel like months,
I can't take it!
I hate it!
I need to see you everyday,
I need you to hold me,
To be there everyday;
I'm getting so needy....
I wish i wasn't..
The moments I'm with you,
I never want them to go;
Why can't they just stay and last forever,
And never cease to an end?!
Its aggravating,
Yes indeed it truly is...
We need to stay together forever;
I get these thoughts where I feel like you're going to leave...
I hope that never happens...
I hate thinking of that thought..
I feel incomplete,mad,sad,and not myself
When I'm not with you;
You're a part of me now,
I can't go back to my old life,
I never want to..
It's amazing how the one you love
Can make you the saddest,the maddest,and the happiest you can possibly be;
The sadness comes because you have to be away from that person for a period of time;
The madness comes because you can't be with them every waking minute and there's nothing you can do about it;
And last but not least the happiness comes because that person can make you smile every moment of the day when you're with them. This person makes you feel perfect. They make you feel so comfortable and at peace. They make you feel like nothing can go wrong...
Gawh why won't the world let us be?!
Why can't we always be together forever and ever?
Why do we have to depart so much?
Why do we have to leave eachothers side?
Love comes with many questions...yes
But oh my its the best thing ever!
True love truly comes with a great package.
It's a great thing, love...
It's one of the greatest feelings ever!
People are very lucky when they find it.